My husband of 10 years cheated on me emotionally many times over the years (and possibly even physically), but I was in the throes of being a new Mom and raising two young children entirely alone, so I was always quick to forgive. Big mistake, because he ended up cheating on me again last year. Not only did he meet up with a woman from Tinder, but he also spent the entire year on Tik Tok Live, blowing through 10K on gifts to women.
I have told him that I wanted to divorce/separate, but he is in denial. He keeps promising to change, but then I keep finding him talking to women in secret. Even last week I found messages - and he justified his actions, saying that he wrote her so that he could understand me better.
He FINALLY agreed to couples therapy (after his friend convinced him - go figure), but he keeps talking about how we both should go because we are both at fault for his constant infidelity. Oh, and the best part is, he revealed to me that he was sexually abused when he was younger. While I empathize with him, I cannot help but question why he never brought it up to me.
When I started to talk with him about divorce/separation, he blew up. He grabbed his suitcases and told our girls that he was going back to his country. He was happy to leave me with the kids and bills - and I am a SAHM. He claimed that it is better for them to have no dad, rather than a dad that is there 50% of the time. He stormed out of the house (sans suitcases) and didn't come back until the next day - after which everything was hunky dory again.
Although I still love this man dearly, I just feel like I cannot trust him in any capacity. And, so, as hard as it is, I think that it is probably best to separate at this point. But I am so scared and overwhelmed. My husband is such a wild card, and he has threatened suicide before. So I am trying to proceed very cautiously.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you handle toxic "ex" in-laws? And most importantly, how do you protect your children from the aftereffects of divorce?
