Affair for to me is in the aftermath of the affair. It’s created by the brainwashing one does in an affair and sometimes the mine rant feelings towards the ap.
When someone has an affair they almost brain wash themselves in the process. This is a product of cognitive dissonance. We tend to rewrite the marriage, dehumanize, villainous or minimize our spouse. We create entitlement to why we should be able to do what it is we want.
After the affair the thinking is still in that trajectory and we say a bunch of unbelievable stupid shit to our bs as a result. To me this is what affair fog is.
The decision to have an affair is willful. It’s something we want to do for much more varied reasons than one would expect. It’s often not just about sex but involves escapism, the deep need for external validation, etc. some people even cheat to blow up their marriage and hope to monkey branch into another relationship so they won’t have to be alone.
No fog made me have an affair, but I did brainwash myself with justifications of my actions. So in that way, my experience of affair fog was the period of time it took to stop believing my own bullshit that had been cemented in a swirl of confusing emotions.
What was I thinking when the door closed? I was simply in the moment and riding a high of adrenaline and dopamine. It was also awkward, confusing, and scary. You tend to close your mind to reality, as a means of compartmentalization.
