Posting this as a member who cares for this site and not as a member of Staff, and maybe a more as a vent and contemplation rather than any expectation of change.
If we are talking about GOT-type fantasy, stories of dragons and hobbits, space-travel or time travel… then not much. You know it’s fantasy and imagination, and act within that boundary. Nobody has bought a Delorian and realistically expected to time-travel.
I guess even scenarios where you pretend you are the shy student about to get a spanking from the sexy teacher is OK – as long as you aren’t really an underage student about to get a spanking from a real teacher but rather as a part of some effort to spice up your sex-life…
Nothing wrong with fantasy…
If everyone knows it’s fantasy.
Every now and then we get fantasy on this site.
I even think most infidelity has fantasy. It’s the type of fantasy where the WS thinks rutting in the rear-seat of a Mazda is sexy and romantic, where meeting your "soulmate" in the office-supply room at work is "cute" and where the rent-by-the-hour room at the motel discreetly on the edge of town is "classy". Part of semi-standard advice offered here is precisely to BREAK the fantasy by making it reality. All of a sudden, when the Evil Black Knight or Ogre Queen is no longer preventing the WS from riding away into the sunset with their soulmate the fantasy becomes reality, and reality is what it is. That "soulmate" that always smells of roses – she also farts and gripes and doesn’t look too hot after a day of work, house chores and tending to the kids. That "soulmate" snores, leaves a skid-mark in his tired old cotton boxers, drinks beer and spends too much time watching sports.
But we also get another type of fantasy…
That’s the made-up stories that pop up here every now and then.
That’s when somebody signs on purely to share some story that sounds real but has no basis in reality.
That’s OK in itself… Except it really isn’t…
Let’s go through some of the reasons:
For one it takes resources. Time spent reading and suggesting a path forward to a fantasy-story is time that could have been offered to someone dealing with reality.
Then there is the way this site functions. Only a portion of those that register share or post. Many just read, and they learn about their situations and what to do from reading what others have experienced and done. This is where fantasy is possibly at its worst. Someone writing fantasy hasn’t done the work, hasn’t worn the t-shirt, paid the lawyers, gone to court, confronted a real person or any of the gazillion steps we that have gone through. Their story, the reactions and their steps… about as real as a fistfight in a Hollywood movie. Someone reading might decide that copying what’s in that thread might be a great idea.
I could list several dozen examples but will limit myself to one from a classic troll-post many old-timers will recognize. The poster who claimed to be a Navy SEAL. In his story he went from discovery to divorce in something like 30 days, and in the divorce a sympathetic judge signed the marital assets over to him, refused any alimony and basically cast the cheating wife to the curb.
If I was a freshly betrayed husband reading that… Wow! I would be off filing, expecting to have EVERYTHING within 30-40 days! Yet based on the location of the gallant SEAL (as shared by him) the law explicitly prohibited infidelity from being considered when dividing assets Anyone thinking this fine example of a patriot was worth following would be headed towards the edge of a cliff.
Then there is the moderation/staff part…
This is an all-volunteer site. We on the staff can flag a poster we find suspect, and I have no doubt that Mangled Heart the admin has his tools to stop known trolls at the gates. But it’s complex… Anybody that wants to get here can get here. Whatever technological gate system is installed, a technically semi-savvy person can bypass. Despite what might be shared on some other sites, relatively few posters are banned here, and then mainly those that spam. The afore-mentioned Popeye is one of very few that has been publicly banned. I think the line-of-thought is that it’s better to let some weirdo get his kicks through his fantasy, rather than maybe blocking someone that actually does have a very scripted and linear fantasy-sounding situation.
Often, it’s quite harmless, except for how resource-hungry these threads can be. Writing from imagination rather than reality allows the poster to create the most elaborate and enthralling plots that tend to pull more responders in. Some aren’t as harmless and can even cause pain and discord on this site. Some have endured and are regularly referred to as how to act, but fortunately most of them simply slip away into the digital black hole of page 50 and beyond.
I don’t really know what those that do this are seeking. What kick they get. My wife is an ER/ICU nurse, and she says that there are people that seek out going to ER with all sorts of fake ailments. I guess it might be a digital version of that mental disorder.
I think I need to end this post on a reminder of the Guidelines, in case someone wants to respond by naming a user they might think is a troll or sharing a fake story. Don’t publish their names, but if you feel so inclined PM a member of staff with your concerns.
NAMING, FLAMING & SHAMING: Please refrain from name calling, attacking or shaming, publicly or by using the SI.com Private Message feature. Do not bait or call out others. This includes members and non-members.
